Troubles with God

awaken_rae

Button Buck
I would like to start out by saying that I am new to this forum and looking forward to being a part of it.
My reason for starting this topic is because I have had troubles with faith for a while now.
I grew up in an Episcopalian family. We went to church most Sundays, I got baptized, and was an acolyte.
I had some major traumas in my life around 11 years old. That is when I really started picking apart and questioning everything I was being taught in church. The more I questioned God and what was being preached the farther i got away from it all. I got into reading about all types of religions and different philosophies. I had even spoke with several priests for a philosophy paper in college about faith.
Today I truly couldn’t tell you how I feel about God. I still pray every day but, when I pray it’s to the universe I suppose. I know there is something out there listening to me because most of the time the prayers are answered.
I started going to a friends southern Baptist church and really liked it. The times I went the topics were all too coincidentally connected to my life at the time. I so badly want to believe as strongly as everyone else but, i just don’t. So much of it makes no sense to me or there are things that I don’t agree with.
If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. 🙏
 

Helium

Old Mossy Horns
I would like to start out by saying that I am new to this forum and looking forward to being a part of it.
My reason for starting this topic is because I have had troubles with faith for a while now.
I grew up in an Episcopalian family. We went to church most Sundays, I got baptized, and was an acolyte.
I had some major traumas in my life around 11 years old. That is when I really started picking apart and questioning everything I was being taught in church. The more I questioned God and what was being preached the farther i got away from it all. I got into reading about all types of religions and different philosophies. I had even spoke with several priests for a philosophy paper in college about faith.
Today I truly couldn’t tell you how I feel about God. I still pray every day but, when I pray it’s to the universe I suppose. I know there is something out there listening to me because most of the time the prayers are answered.
I started going to a friends southern Baptist church and really liked it. The times I went the topics were all too coincidentally connected to my life at the time. I so badly want to believe as strongly as everyone else but, i just don’t. So much of it makes no sense to me or there are things that I don’t agree with.
If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. 🙏
Believe it or not.. Everyone who seeks to be closer to God (and/or God draws them closer) will come to a “crisis of belief” just like the Disciples did... especially Peter.

Anyway, if it helps any I was “saved/born again/became a believer” at the age of 12 BUT honestly it was more about me than Him, fire insurance to some degree BUT He definitely used it. Involved in church for many years, was a saint by all “religious standards” (didnt cuss, chew, drink, or smoke) BUT was religiously prideful. Years later he Lord (age of 25) called me to go into Vocational ministry which led me eventually to Bible College. Their I came to a deep crisis of belief as I encountered many things I had been taught didn’t line up with the Bible.

I call it “a Peter experience “ in which I questioned everything and literally prayed to God that I’m not sure exactly who You are but I want to know You, even if this Jesus stuff is false, I want to know You!

He led me back around to “Lord where shall I go, you hold the keys of eternal life”. In laymen’s terms, after having previously considered the philosophies of the world and all other major religions... there is no hope outside of Jesus! Without Him this is some sick joke we call life.

Thank the Lord my Peter experience only lasted 3 days. I’ve had other ministers say “that’s all yours lasted?” Because there crisis of belief was much longer.

In summary, understand the Bible is clear “no one seeks after God” “all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God”. So, don’t miss the fact that God is drawing you to Him. Yes you have a part in how your respond BUT on our own freewill we don’t seek Him. Be encouraged that God is at work and will lead you to Him.... just simply trust and obey. And don’t be scared to ask Him

Remember to shut off the noise and just “Be still and know that He is Lord” . Listen.. you will hear Him.

Ps Doesn't really matter, but some make it matter, I’m not currently in vocational ministry. Served for 15 years and been out for 6 years. However, that doesn’t mean anything as far as my personal relationship with Him!
 

Triggermortis

Twelve Pointer
Contributor
At the risk of sounding trite or cliched, my counsel to you, if you are asking for help, would be to read the Bible.
It says , “ faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”.

And, to give you a certainty that what you are reading is God’s message, initially begin by examining what the Bible says about itself. Start each examination with prayer, asking its Author to speak to you and bring understanding and clarity to what you read.

Blessings
 

sky hawk

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I just read these words of Jesus this week:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

Triggermortis is right - the most direct way God has revealed himself to us is through his word. Read the Bible and ask that God would show himself to you. If you are consistently reading his word, he WILL reveal himself to you. When you do find him, understand that we don't get to form the God we would like to believe in. We aren't consumers that get to choose the god we want. He said:

" I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me,"

What you described with the sermon topics addressing your life is the living nature of his word. Hebrews says "God's word is living and active" - that means at any point in human existence, it still speaks to our hearts and has power for change in our lives. Pray that he gives you the faith to believe.
 

buckshooter

Old Mossy Horns
@awaken_rae , welcome to the forum. Lots of great folks around here.

I'm nothing near a religious expert. But I do believe God is real and is watching over me. His son Jesus saved my poor soul.

What you said reminded me of what I once saw in a film. And I believe it to be very true.


Your faith is between you and God. He is always ready to lis ten. Your faith is how you hear what he's saying.

( the movie part here )

Sometimes God's voice is like a lightning bolt. So fast and extreme it can be frightening.

Other times its like a sun rise. Slow to come on , but beautiful as it becomes daylight. It lights your way.


Keep your heart wide open to God's word. Your mind will soon follow.
 

Crappie_Hunter

Twelve Pointer
Contributor
Read the Gospel of John and pray that the Holy Spirit would speak to you and show you the truth about Jesus. I think it is good you are actively seeking and looking for the Truth, because when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Also, I read you mentioned that there are things that you don't agree with... if those things are opinions from the Pastor it is certainly possible you are right. However, I've found that in reading the Word, if I come across something I disagree with, my first (and only assumption really) is that I'm wrong.
 

awaken_rae

Button Buck
@awaken_rae , welcome to the forum. Lots of great folks around here.

I'm nothing near a religious expert. But I do believe God is real and is watching over me. His son Jesus saved my poor soul.

What you said reminded me of what I once saw in a film. And I believe it to be very true.


Your faith is between you and God. He is always ready to lis ten. Your faith is how you hear what he's saying.

( the movie part here )

Sometimes God's voice is like a lightning bolt. So fast and extreme it can be frightening.

Other times its like a sun rise. Slow to come on , but beautiful as it becomes daylight. It lights your way.


Keep your heart wide open to God's word. Your mind will soon follow.

Thank you so much for your response!
 

awaken_rae

Button Buck
Believe it or not.. Everyone who seeks to be closer to God (and/or God draws them closer) will come to a “crisis of belief” just like the Disciples did... especially Peter.

Anyway, if it helps any I was “saved/born again/became a believer” at the age of 12 BUT honestly it was more about me than Him, fire insurance to some degree BUT He definitely used it. Involved in church for many years, was a saint by all “religious standards” (didnt cuss, chew, drink, or smoke) BUT was religiously prideful. Years later he Lord (age of 25) called me to go into Vocational ministry which led me eventually to Bible College. Their I came to a deep crisis of belief as I encountered many things I had been taught didn’t line up with the Bible.

I call it “a Peter experience “ in which I questioned everything and literally prayed to God that I’m not sure exactly who You are but I want to know You, even if this Jesus stuff is false, I want to know You!

He led me back around to “Lord where shall I go, you hold the keys of eternal life”. In laymen’s terms, after having previously considered the philosophies of the world and all other major religions... there is no hope outside of Jesus! Without Him this is some sick joke we call life.

Thank the Lord my Peter experience only lasted 3 days. I’ve had other ministers say “that’s all yours lasted?” Because there crisis of belief was much longer.

In summary, understand the Bible is clear “no one seeks after God” “all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God”. So, don’t miss the fact that God is drawing you to Him. Yes you have a part in how your respond BUT on our own freewill we don’t seek Him. Be encouraged that God is at work and will lead you to Him.... just simply trust and obey. And don’t be scared to ask Him

Remember to shut off the noise and just “Be still and know that He is Lord” . Listen.. you will hear Him.

Ps Doesn't really matter, but some make it matter, I’m not currently in vocational ministry. Served for 15 years and been out for 6 years. However, that doesn’t mean anything as far as my personal relationship with Him!

Thanks so much! That was definitely helpful. I feel like i have been pulled in his direction lately, but still doubtful at times.
 

awaken_rae

Button Buck
I just read these words of Jesus this week:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

Triggermortis is right - the most direct way God has revealed himself to us is through his word. Read the Bible and ask that God would show himself to you. If you are consistently reading his word, he WILL reveal himself to you. When you do find him, understand that we don't get to form the God we would like to believe in. We aren't consumers that get to choose the god we want. He said:

" I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me,"

What you described with the sermon topics addressing your life is the living nature of his word. Hebrews says "God's word is living and active" - that means at any point in human existence, it still speaks to our hearts and has power for change in our lives. Pray that he gives you the faith to believe.
Wow thank you so much! I never thought of it in that way, “ that we don’t get to form the God we want to believe in...” That is really eye opening for me actually. I will continue to pray for a stronger faith. Thank you 🙏🏻
 

awaken_rae

Button Buck
Read the Gospel of John and pray that the Holy Spirit would speak to you and show you the truth about Jesus. I think it is good you are actively seeking and looking for the Truth, because when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Also, I read you mentioned that there are things that you don't agree with... if those things are opinions from the Pastor it is certainly possible you are right. However, I've found that in reading the Word, if I come across something I disagree with, my first (and only assumption really) is that I'm wrong.
Thank you i will definitely keep working on it.
 

Helium

Old Mossy Horns
Wow thank you so much! I never thought of it in that way, “ that we don’t get to form the God we want to believe in...” That is really eye opening for me actually. I will continue to pray for a stronger faith. Thank you 🙏🏻
Truth is when God in the Bible says “You shall have no other gods before me” and also speaks against “idols and false gods or graven images” that’s exactly what He is speaking to.... people making god to be who they want him to be.

God is who He is... we can either accept Him or reject Him. That’s the blunt truth... Reality is that it is a process.

There are many things I find in the Bible that I don’t like... but I accept.

On these things for me, and I believe for all, it really boils down to the simple aspect of TRUST... “Do I really believe God is good?” If so, even when I don’t understand His ways, I know it’s for the best and ultimately for His glory and the good of those who love Him.
 

JONOV

Old Mossy Horns
My amateur opinion, I think humans and some Christian churches have a tendency to oversimplify the nature of God into "Benevolent Sky Wizard." That's fine when everything is going well but not so fine when people deal with real traumas like the death of a Baby or witness the horrors of war or violence. When in fact it's much broader, bigger than that.

The Chinese proverb of the boy who was given a horse, everyone said "How Wonderful." Wise man said, "We'll see." Boy broke his leg, "How awful" everyone said, Wise man said, "We'll see," next day the army came in to conscript all able bodied men, the boy had a broken leg and avoided the press gang, everyone said "how wonderful for him..."
 

awaken_rae

Button Buck
My amateur opinion, I think humans and some Christian churches have a tendency to oversimplify the nature of God into "Benevolent Sky Wizard." That's fine when everything is going well but not so fine when people deal with real traumas like the death of a Baby or witness the horrors of war or violence. When in fact it's much broader, bigger than that.

The Chinese proverb of the boy who was given a horse, everyone said "How Wonderful." Wise man said, "We'll see." Boy broke his leg, "How awful" everyone said, Wise man said, "We'll see," next day the army came in to conscript all able bodied men, the boy had a broken leg and avoided the press gang, everyone said "how wonderful for him..."
Yes! That is exactly why i am saying. I have so many questions about why, who, how, where. It’s overwhelming and I don’t know how to find out the answers for it all. I need to go back in time and sit down with one of the great philosophers lol.
 

rangerxp

Eight Pointer
As others have said , Read the Bible.
I'm not a good reader and always have wanted to read the Bible but just couldn't follow the KJV well enough
to read very far into it. A friend recommended the CEB " Common English Bible " to me , which is much easier
to read and follow. I have since read the Bible from cover to cover ! I'm so thankful I was lead to doing so.
Very eye opening in the beginning and some quiet tuff reading but needed . Revelation was most intriguing and I strongly recommend all Believers to read it.
I most enjoyed Paul's writings and also the story of Ruth.

www.bible.com has the Bible in many different forms to read online and some of those versions offer audio read to you. It's free

I would suggest you start by read the book of John in the Bible first , then start at the beginning and read through.
God Bless
 

rangerxp

Eight Pointer
Yes! That is exactly why i am saying. I have so many questions about why, who, how, where. It’s overwhelming and I don’t know how to find out the answers for it all. I need to go back in time and sit down with one of the great philosophers lol.

Your free to ask God anything you wish , But understand you won't get all the answers you seek.
Some answers you will receive from the Bible , some from God Himself , BUT they will come from Him on His time not your's , if at all.
 

awaken_rae

Button Buck
As others have said , Read the Bible.
I'm not a good reader and always have wanted to read the Bible but just couldn't follow the KJV well enough
to read very far into it. A friend recommended the CEB " Common English Bible " to me , which is much easier
to read and follow. I have since read the Bible from cover to cover ! I'm so thankful I was lead to doing so.
Very eye opening in the beginning and some quiet tuff reading but needed . Revelation was most intriguing and I strongly recommend all Believers to read it.
I most enjoyed Paul's writings and also the story of Ruth.

www.bible.com has the Bible in many different forms to read online and some of those versions offer audio read to you. It's free

I would suggest you start by read the book of John in the Bible first , then start at the beginning and read through.
God Bless
Thank you! I definitely need to start reading it. I did just go to a bible study and that helped!
 

Lakeview Bear

Ten Pointer
Contributor
Don't start at the beginning of the bible. Start with the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) They hung out with Jesus and tell their experiences with him. Then I would venture through the rest of the New Testament. I think Acts and a lot of the writings of the Apostles especially Paul might help.
 

Bluedogman

Six Pointer
I second the unashamed podcast. Also just reading the good book all the questions won’t be answered all at once it comes in time heck I still have questions unanswered but I know it will be answered as long as I keep to my faith and surround my self with like minded people. God can and will be mighty slow at times but he will never be late. Hope this helps. Summer is usually better at the talking then I am haha
 

CJF

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I see a beautiful sunrise or sunset and I know it was created and not just an accident. If it was created then there has to be a creator and that creator is my God. God is my creator and he wouldn't purposely make problems for his creation. I don't have problems with my God I take my problems to my God. He gave his only son so that I a lowly sinner could have grace and live eternally in his Kingdom.
 
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