Life and trauma

UncleFester

Old Mossy Horns
To those that have reached out, I'd just like to thank you. If I haven't taken your calls it's not that I didn't want to, it's that I simply couldn't. To generalize, life has been a bit overwhelming this year.

To watch the rapid decline of one of the most intelligent individuals I've ever known has been devastating. It's been compounded by the massive theft that I've been trying to deal with by myself. I've mentioned it before that had left me with ZERO respect for the local legal system/law enforcement. This has pushed my mother further down the pathway of dementia, depression, health issues due to it all. Last week she was in the hospital and I had little hope she'd ever come home. On Friday they released her to me, but she's still in horrible shape. It's just a matter of time now.

I'm not one to truly make friends easily. If I consider you a friend I'll literally go to any lengths to help you if you're in need and I'm able. I'm not making a boast, it's just how I am. I've been thru many past traumas completely alone and if you're my friend I simply don't want you to go thru yours alone because it sucks. If something happens in a friendship I'll immediately try to figure out what's wrong and fix it if I can. If I can't and I see you don't want it to continue then I'll let it go even if I don't like it. I mean we all have times when our friends aggravate us right? Well two weeks ago I lost a friend that in 43 years I've never experienced a single moment of aggravation with. We meet weekly at the Chinese buffet to check on one another. We'd met on Thursday ate and caught up. I noticed he was a little quieter than usual, but he'd been struggling with things so I chalked it up to that. On the following Monday I was on the phone with a client and Red/Victor tried calling me two times in a row. I sent a text telling him I'd call him right back. After getting off the phone and pulling into a driveway I called him back. Instead of Red it was his son and I recieved the news that he'd had a heart attack and had passed away. So yes I'm devastated. I can't even express how painful it's been. A sword thru the heart is the best description. I lost my 'ride or die' buddy that was ten times closer to me than my own brother and unless God steps in I'm losing my mother at any moment as well. My mother's brother who's basically my brother isn't far behind her. Things are tough on a personal level at the moment.

I'm truly not after pity, just trying to explain my headspace at the moment. If I snap at you, it's not intentional. If I don't answer a call I'm either busy dealing with mom or simply not able to answer.

I'm very thankful for the friends I do have. I won't call you by name, but you know who you are and I value the friendship.

Red
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Aaron H

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
You've got a full plate. Loss and pending loss comes more often as we pile up the years. All around us those close to us in age and certainly those older are subject to leave without warning. I hope your mother is comfortable and I'm sorry for the loss of your buddy Red. It is a true gift to have even one very good friend in this life.
 
To those that have reached out, I'd just like to thank you. If I haven't taken your calls it's not that I didn't want to, it's that I simply couldn't. To generalize, life has been a bit overwhelming this year.

To watch the rapid decline of one of the most intelligent individuals I've ever known has been devastating. It's been compounded by the massive theft that I've been trying to deal with by myself. I've mentioned it before that had left me with ZERO respect for the local legal system/law enforcement. This has pushed my mother further down the pathway of dementia, depression, health issues due to it all. Last week she was in the hospital and I had little hope she'd ever come home. On Friday they released her to me, but she's still in horrible shape. It's just a matter of time now.

I'm not one to truly make friends easily. If I consider you a friend I'll literally go to any lengths to help you if you're in need and I'm able. I'm not making a boast, it's just how I am. I've been thru many past traumas completely alone and if you're my friend I simply don't want you to go thru yours alone because it sucks. If something happens in a friendship I'll immediately try to figure out what's wrong and fix it if I can. If I can't and I see you don't want it to continue then I'll let it go even if I don't like it. I mean we all have times when our friends aggravate us right? Well two weeks ago I lost a friend that in 43 years I've never experienced a single moment of aggravation with. We meet weekly at the Chinese buffet to check on one another. We'd met on Thursday ate and caught up. I noticed he was a little quieter than usual, but he'd been struggling with things so I chalked it up to that. On the following Monday I was on the phone with a client and Red/Victor tried calling me two times in a row. I sent a text telling him I'd call him right back. After getting off the phone and pulling into a driveway I called him back. Instead of Red it was his son and I recieved the news that he'd had a heart attack and had passed away. So yes I'm devastated. I can't even express how painful it's been. A sword thru the heart is the best description. I lost my 'ride or die' buddy that was ten times closer to me than my own brother and unless God steps in I'm losing my mother at any moment as well. My mother's brother who's basically my brother isn't far behind her. Things are tough on a personal level at the moment.

I'm truly not after pity, just trying to explain my headspace at the moment. If I snap at you, it's not intentional. If I don't answer a call I'm either busy dealing with mom or simply not able to answer.

I'm very thankful for the friends I do have. I won't call you by name, but you know who you are and I value the friendship.

Red
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Firedog

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
Always hate to read posts like the OP. I always try to think of something positive to say and thoughts just never feel like enough. Struggle is the human condition and I guess we all face these kinds of things throughout our lives unless we are the ones that check out early and leave others the struggle.

Snap, vent, yell, scream, do what you need to do, and ask for help if you need it..
 

C120

Six Pointer
Sorry to hear of your lost and having to deal with the declining health of loved ones. I've been through both and its almost impossible to handle alone and still tough to handle with many friends reaching out and praying for comfort and understanding. Through it all I hope you are experiencing God's comforting touch and realizing that you're not handling this alone and things will get better for you and your family.
 
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KrisB

Twelve Pointer
I'm so sorry, but I'm just now seeing your post about this. Did not know you were going through this. I will send prayers for you and your family. What is your mother's first name, if I may ask?

The only advice I can give is talk to someone about it if you can. Face to face. That has helped me deal with my experiences during the war in Israel when I lived there. Some things we aren't meant to face alone.
 

KennyZeDevilDog

Eight Pointer
I'm sorry man. The punches never stop coming and the issue with being strong is you know you gotta take them on the chin, and I'm sorry your chin keeps being tested.
 

ScottyB

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I’m praying for you and your family! You are usually funny and entertaining- hope you get back to that place soon!
 

turkeyfoot

Old Mossy Horns
So sorry hear this Dan I'm a phone call away if you need anything or just need an ear to vent to. You've had more than your share to deal with and more ahead will keep you and the family in prayers
 

Blackwater

Twelve Pointer
Fully understand Dan, have had several stretches of AWOL myself recently. In the last couple of months I've lost my closest cousin and last remaining uncle, two of the most loved and admired people in my life.

Prayers for your mom and peace regarding the loss of your friend. RT
 

wturkey01

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
You're a helluva good man, Dan!

Life isn't fair much of the time. We lose loved ones, we gain loved ones, we take some for granted. Losing someone close is tough but going through this tends to tender us and make us aware that we must cherish them while we have them.

Hopefully, one day people who love us will feel the same.
 

Helium

Old Mossy Horns
Prayers… sorry for the loss and this trying time.

In times like this, I have to be reminded “and this too shall pass”

Hang in there!
 
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