Laughter Is The Best Medicine

surveyor

Twelve Pointer
well, he did tell us where we could find him.
road trip.

You know, I'll be honest, on my post about the fence wire, my "for free" comment wasn't intended to be a jab. I never read his post past the first half sentence.

It was purely unintentional, but I have a Guardian Shade Fairy that's got my back.
 
Last edited:

longrifle

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
THE HYPNOTIST
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center.
After the community sing song led by Alice at the piano it was time for the Star of the Show- Claude the Hypnotist!
Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact"
":donk:donk:donk:donk!!!" said Claude.
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center and Claude was never invited to entertain again.....
 

JoeH

Four Pointer
At a plant where I worked maintenance you had to check the grey headband on your hard hat every day. If you didn’t it would leave a smear across your forehead. A lot of newbys would find out the hard way later in the shift
Damn that’s rude! Of course at the plant I worked years ago, they’d slip the business end of a grease gun into the pocket of a newbie’s work coveralls, and fill it with grease! I suppose that’s just as bad.
 

Eric Revo

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
One of my favorites was to adjust the tether on a newbie's pouch to about 6 inches on every tool. Working at 60 feet about the floor that is only funny to the folks on the floor :)
another that was a classic is to tack the tool box owned by a newbie to the bottom of the work box, that was a classic. Or cut a piece of 1/2 inch plate and fit it to the tool box and tack all the wrenches to it...LOL...
 

surveyor

Twelve Pointer
One of my favorites was to adjust the tether on a newbie's pouch to about 6 inches on every tool. Working at 60 feet about the floor that is only funny to the folks on the floor :)
another that was a classic is to tack the tool box owned by a newbie to the bottom of the work box, that was a classic. Or cut a piece of 1/2 inch plate and fit it to the tool box and tack all the wrenches to it...LOL...
We had a survey rod I filled with lead. That was a show stopper.
 

YanceyGreenhorn

Not a Moderator
One of my favorites was to adjust the tether on a newbie's pouch to about 6 inches on every tool. Working at 60 feet about the floor that is only funny to the folks on the floor :)
another that was a classic is to tack the tool box owned by a newbie to the bottom of the work box, that was a classic. Or cut a piece of 1/2 inch plate and fit it to the tool box and tack all the wrenches to it...LOL...
I took a bunch (maybe a couple thousand) of little red rubber caps that go on the end of our copper pipe and filled up one of the big industrial fans. New guy was sweating bullets so I told him to plug his fan in. Made the most god awful noises and he took off in a full sprint thinking something was about to explode
 
Top