Laughter Is The Best Medicine

spinnerbaitor48

spinnerbaitor48

Twelve Pointer
Contributor
Heh
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Dragnzdan

Dragnzdan

Button Buck
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
 
NCST8GUY

NCST8GUY

Frozen H20 Guy
Some stuff just AIN'T funny!

In our world, we always tell the "new" guy to "cut the fiber right HERE (after about 1 million episodes of why you measure 40 times, cut once). They always reply "here?.....ready?" We always reply "Yes, cut it! we're losing daylight", and yet EVERY single time, one of the oltimers hears the cutters just start to crunch and yells at him "no DON'T!". The muscle reflexes are so fast, it's cut, but the brain heard it in time one would think to stop the cut. New guy ALWAYS looks up in shock and horror. And we all laugh and say "some things NEVER get old!".

But this, is this really funny?

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B-KayCh

Six Pointer
NCST8GUY said:
Some stuff just AIN'T funny!

In our world, we always tell the "new" guy to "cut the fiber right HERE (after about 1 million episodes of why you measure 40 times, cut once). They always reply "here?.....ready?" We always reply "Yes, cut it! we're losing daylight", and yet EVERY single time, one of the oltimers hears the cutters just start to crunch and yells at him "no DON'T!". The muscle reflexes are so fast, it's cut, but the brain heard it in time one would think to stop the cut. New guy ALWAYS looks up in shock and horror. And we all laugh and say "some things NEVER get old!".

But this, is this really funny?

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Sometimes an A$$ whooping is deserved.........
 

302cj

Old Mossy Horns
NCST8GUY said:
Some stuff just AIN'T funny!

In our world, we always tell the "new" guy to "cut the fiber right HERE (after about 1 million episodes of why you measure 40 times, cut once). They always reply "here?.....ready?" We always reply "Yes, cut it! we're losing daylight", and yet EVERY single time, one of the oltimers hears the cutters just start to crunch and yells at him "no DON'T!". The muscle reflexes are so fast, it's cut, but the brain heard it in time one would think to stop the cut. New guy ALWAYS looks up in shock and horror. And we all laugh and say "some things NEVER get old!".

But this, is this really funny?

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Yeah it’s still funny. About 10 years ago my boss was helping rewire a 480v disconnect. He ended up by his self so I eased around the corner and popped a smoke bomb at his feet. Y’all know how that went! He’s still nervous around that panel.
 
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