Laughter Is The Best Medicine

HarryNC

Six Pointer
After years of trying, and a number of failed efforts, a group of scientists finally developed a time-travel machine. After some successful experiments with animals, the lead scientist (Dr. Jones) decided that he would be the first human to time-travel. He was always a huge admirer of Benjamin Franklin (scholar, scientist, founding father), so he set the machine to 1785, and transported himself to Philadelphia.

Of course, upon meeting the man from the future, Franklin was astonished and skeptical at first, but the scientist convinced Franklin to join him in traveling back to 2021. Upon arrival, Franklin was absolutely breath-taken on the changes technology had made to America; the huge city buildings, automobiles buzzing down the streets, airplanes flying overhead.

Franklin was most fascinated, though, by cell phone technology. As Dr. Jones explained to him, the handheld communication device could be used to call and talk to people anywhere on the globe, as he demonstrated by calling a colleague in London. Dr. Jones then traded text messages with his wife about dinner reservations, got driving directions to the restaurant, checked his email accounts, checked in on what his kids were doing on Facebook and Instagram, looked at the weather forecast, checked the score by live-streaming a soccer game in Spain, and even took a few selfies with ole Ben. Franklin was dumbfounded.

Dr. Jones then proceeded to tell Franklin about the internet, and that the complete sum of human knowledge on any topic could be accessed within a few seconds, with a few taps on the phone. They googled up Ben's Wikipedia page, visited sites full of medical, historical, political, and scientific data.
Franklin was awestruck. He then said to Dr. Jones "What an incredible invention. With all of the things that are available on that little device, what do you spend most of your time of doing with it?". Dr. Jones thought for a moment, then said "Looking at pictures of dead fish, deer, and other game animals, and arguing with people I've never met about politics".
 

Homebrewale

Old Mossy Horns
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .

Probably wasn't the same elephant.
 

dobber

Twelve Pointer
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .

Probably wasn't the same elephant.
i have told this joke many times, it is a classic, try it on a vegan millennium, they love the story, and almost cry at the end
 
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