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Is it okay to raise your voice to a co-worker


Twelve Pointer
You can not do that in this day and time.
It will not work out good.
If they have it out for you and there is bad blood you always want a recording or witness.

They will file a claim that you said X or did X when you pulled them aside.
There is no way to win that.
My scenarios are different than a lot of other work places. Working in an emergency room there really isn’t a private place, more of pull someone aside and have a quick conversation with them in the hall way or a open place like that. It was more of constructive criticism, or warning people about cell phone use in patient areas or just telling them to pick up the pace a little. Anytime it was a female coworker, I made sure all conversations happened where someone could see both of us. They may not have been able to hear us but they could at least see what was going on. Never took a female coworker to private place to talk. That’s just asking for trouble. If I felt like it was a conversation that warranted a more private area, i always took the coworker straight to my directors office and talked with them present. I was always careful about documenting any grievances in writing, via email or something like that. So that way it could be easily tracked.

The one time I let someone have it in front of everyone was due to a blatant disregard of hospital policy and patient safety. The nurse nearly killed a patient. I didn’t yell, but I let it be known to that nurse and everyone around them that what they did was negligent and down right dangerous and they had no business being a nurse. I did curse, several times and “knife handed“ (Army days came back to me). I ended up in HR the next day. I admitted that I said things that were probably disrespectful, explained the situation and showed the documentation of clear violation of policy. I walked out with a written warning on my file. The coworker got the axe and sent to board of nursing for possible license revocation. Worth it to me.


Twelve Pointer
Volume, tone, body language, gestures... all situation dependant.

Post-military, I've learned not everyone is conditioned to that extreme. It also doesn't lead to a healthy civilian working environment.

There was an adjustment period for me, that nobody warned me about.

Growing up as a farm hand, you were going to know when you messed up. There wasn't any tiptoeing, or beating around the bush.

Since getting out, I've had to bite my tongue, walk away, or call in a moderator. It took one time for the instigator to come close enough, for me to realize I wasn't on a contract salary anymore.

I go to work for my family now. Them, and only them. For them, I'll set that part of my pride aside. They're worth it.


Twelve Pointer
This reminds me of my cousin. She was in TX while her husband was stationed at hood. She decided to take a job on base. Quit after the first day. She said.....they aren't going to yell at me like I'm in the military.


Ten Pointer
For me I'd say its highly situational. I'm not one to yell unless its a safety issue where I need to be heard immediately. Otherwise I try to have a calm and rational conversation especially when giving feedback about issues or performance. Coming from the Military I've experienced both types of supervisors and I vowed never to be one of the ones to yell for no reason or just to put others down. Also as others have said my experience shows that people shut down when you start yelling so its pointless to an extent.

However I did have a project manager that worked for me once that constantly got turned into HR. He was a retired CW3 helicopter mechanic in the military and was half deaf. I had to explain to people all the time that he wasnt yelling, just when he got frustrated or excited he would get loud because he couldnt hear himself talk. He would do the same with me but I'd just tell him to lower his voice and he would understand and do so. We worked in an office environment so most people we work with are very sensitive to being yelled at.


Old Mossy Horns
Just for the record, I never threatened him or used profanity toward him.

I just said he needs to cut this crap out. (Several times and loud)
I've done that. Loud enough people in other offices and on the floor out side the offices heard me. When I calmed done, I just knew I was fired. I'm not PC and the plant manager jerked my chain one to many times, twisting the situation. I am a gov't employee and provide a service to these companies. I knew I had messed up. 17 years down the drain. I called my superiors almost immediately. I told them what happened and that it would never happen again. I told them I would just walk out the door next time. I'm just glad nobody grabbed me to calm me down or they would have had to fire me or at the least move me to a different facility. I don't think things like that help, but I sure got a lot off my mind. All worked out great actually cleared my slate and allowed me to correct the situation. I work hard to not get caught in that corner again.


Twelve Pointer

I work with a population of snowflakes one would have to view to appreciate, a wide variety I have to deal with, I have recieved several complaints over the years. One even had the snowflake meltdown because I publicly praised another person for doing better than the rest of the staff, oh my.

red neck richie

Twelve Pointer
We have 9 males in our shop. We have disagreements from time to time that get loud and argumentative. At the end of the day we figure out what happened and if there is a better way to do things or we just agree to disagree and move on. If there is a procedure in place that was not followed I would remind them of the procedure. If they continue to not follow procedure I would talk to someone that can do something about it.
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