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Is it okay to raise your voice to a co-worker

Justin

Old Mossy Horns
Raise your voice at me and you’ll be quickly ignored. I’m not in the military and don’t need to be broken down and reshaped into anything. I don’t treat my employees like that and don’t expect to be treated like that.

Mistake or willful neglect to follow procedure, never seen voice raising do anything but shut someone down from their potential or fire them up beyond reason.

It takes effort, energy, and often times a lack of self control and equal lack of self awareness as who you’re raising your voice to, to raise your voice. None of that appeals to me personally.

I’ve also found that a situation calling for the urge to raise your voice is nothing more than a trap or ammo for what you’re going through with HR. People love getting a rise out of others.
 

lasttombstone

Kinder, Gentler LTS
Contributor
There is a big difference between raising one's voice and yelling. Many times, a raised voice is necessary for emphasis. Everyone's work environment is not the same so don't assume that everyone's situation is the same as yours. There is no way I work in a place that is the way some of you portray. Not enough money.
 

agsnchunt

Six Pointer
This is where you have to count to 100, then calmly remind her that the tray for unclaimed papers if there for a reason.

Sarcasm can be helpful too.

Best of luck with HR.
 

agsnchunt

Six Pointer
I would say what is socially acceptable for your trade? Im an A&P and on hanger floor or flight line. Just shy of swinging fists are considered norm And acceptable
This reminds me of my first exposure to trading desks in the NY metro.

Had two guys in ~50’ apart on a floor full of traders and they were going at it. F-bomb this and that. And I was just standing there waiting for the fisticuffs.

After a while, nothing happened and they both went about their work.

I told the managing partner that being from Mississippi, I fully expected someone was gonna tote and ass-whipping. Where I was from you didn’t talk to people like that and if you did, a punch was guaranteed.

He laughed and said, “these degenerates grow up hearing that kind of language and think it’s acceptable.”
 

agsnchunt

Six Pointer
I’m very much of the outlook that if you can resolve issues with your wife without shouting, you can resolve any problem at work without shouting. If you have to go over their head…
I had no idea this was an option.

My wife is going to hear about some things now.
 

venom17

Spike
Most here then would have quit or toted a butt whoppin' in my profession. Most times if you disrespect or get mouthy with one you would have 3-4 others start in on you. We at least 5-6 times a day hear ppl getting a chewing in my building. I took them and gave them. Afterwards, high 5 like it didn't happen then go about ya business.
 

Justin

Old Mossy Horns
When I hear a voice raised, I think it seems like a bunch of wasted energy on fragile egos that can’t think of a real solution. 😂. I’ve had my share. Not sure it did any good other than me wondering why they couldn’t get their point across in a manner that didn’t make them look as stupid as me for whatever I did.
 

bowhuntingrook

Old Mossy Horns
If what your saying is true, and you have a great point, you don't need to raise your voice. I have a worthless co-worker I get into it with once every couple months, I state the facts and cite examples of their actions over past couple months. I'm just very blunt and honest. Name calling only as far as saying it's pure laziness, occasional curse word for emphasis but no yelling or raising voice. It's almost been 2 months so it will likely be this week. It's not an attempt to change the individual, it's more venting and making sure they know how I feel about them as a co-worker. It helps me through the next couple months. I prefer this over doing it behind their back.
 

appmtnhntr

Twelve Pointer
If you all caps me in person I put you on ignore.
In all ways shapes and forms.

I had a coworker who I thought was good friends with me. He’s on here sometimes.

My boss made a really dumb decision that affected everyone but him and I was on the side of right and good and good business and being good people.

This coworker took the bosses side. I get it. 20 years under the same man can warp you.

He raised his voice at me the next day and that was the last time we spoke. Same with the boss except for when I turn in my notice.

Yelling is for a couple things.
Dogs and babies about to cross a road.
Dogs that are lost.
And turkey locating.

Your ass better not raise your voice at me if we are in a professional setting.
 

appmtnhntr

Twelve Pointer
In all ways shapes and forms.

I had a coworker who I thought was good friends with me. He’s on here sometimes.

My boss made a really dumb decision that affected everyone but him and I was on the side of right and good and good business and being good people.

This coworker took the bosses side. I get it. 20 years under the same man can warp you.

He raised his voice at me the next day and that was the last time we spoke. Same with the boss except for when I turn in my notice.

Yelling is for a couple things.
Dogs and babies about to cross a road.
Dogs that are lost.
And turkey locating.

Your ass better not raise your voice at me if we are in a professional setting.
No offense to the OP. I understand where you were.

I have yelled at men before, but it was cause they were either deaf or deafened by PPE or machinery or tools.
 

DC-DXT

Twelve Pointer
Depends on the industry and age of the receptionist. 30 yrs ago it would have been the norm, but not in today’s social justice work environments. I used to work in a Pulp Mill and 4 letter words were the norm. New to the job and in a meeting, and 2 Maint. Mgrs were fussing & cussing, thought they might fight. Leave meeting and Mgr 1 says to Mgr 2 what time are you picking me up in the morning? Mgr 2 said about 5:30. Come to find out they were good friends and fishing buddies.
 

dobber

Twelve Pointer
Working in the Auto industry i have dealt with Unions for years, a lot different approach with the UAW than the Canadian version Unifor (previously CAW)
I was in Union negotiations and my third meeting i literally had to ask if this was in fact negotiations as no one had yelled at me yet or slammed their fists on the table.
I have been yelled at by many people, some i sit and listen, some i stood there and sang along, some i stuck my fingers in my ears and went LALALALALALALA - always for an optimum effect of making an irrational person go right off the deep end
 

NCST8GUY

Frozen H20 Guy
I would say, if you are 100% quiet and easy to get along with, and all of the sudden you raise your voice, it'll get noticed, and everyone will ask each other, "what was he upset about?" I would not do it in an office setting however.

I work on construction sites a lot though. Raised voices are pretty much the norm.

It's usually along the lines of "ARE YOU TIED ON YET?........PULL!........WHATS WRONG!!!????.........HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU NEED?!!!!!.....WHY DID YOU STOP PULLING???!!!!.......WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CAME OFF??!!!!...........WERE YOUR PARENTS RELATED???!!!!!!"

Then when we're testing, it's a whole nother language being shouted "WHITE ORANGE OPEN @ 68 FEET!!!.........BLUE PAIR REVERSED!!!!........NEAR END CROSSTALK .6DB!!!.......and......THATS YOUR FOURTH BAD JACK!!!!YOU SUCK AT THIS!!!!"

Other trades walk up to me and say "I don't understand anything y'all are saying except the part about someone sucking at cutting jacks" lol.
 

darkthirty

Old Mossy Horns
I think there’s two different ways to look at it. Are you a superior to her and higher up? Or are you both “peers”….kinda same level. I have zero problems with co-worker peers yelling at each other but if your a supervisor, it shows a serious lack of leadership skills to yell at a subordinate coworker.
Regardless, whoever’s getting yelled at needs to balls up but who’s where in the “chain of command” matters a great deal as well.
 

apphunter

Four Pointer
I once yelled at my lieutenant on traffic stop with multiple armed suspects.

He was the first back up car on the scene. I had to yell "Pull your fu%$*;,g pistol and point it at somebody. "

He followed instructions and there was no need for any further conversation.
 

bag12day

Six Pointer
Contributor
This reminds me of my first exposure to trading desks in the NY metro.

Had two guys in ~50’ apart on a floor full of traders and they were going at it. F-bomb this and that. And I was just standing there waiting for the fisticuffs.

After a while, nothing happened and they both went about their work.

I told the managing partner that being from Mississippi, I fully expected someone was gonna tote and ass-whipping. Where I was from you didn’t talk to people like that and if you did, a punch was guaranteed.

He laughed and said, “these degenerates grow up hearing that kind of language and think it’s acceptable.”
THIS... my best friend is from NY/NJ and you couldnt pay him to go back now. Hes not the typical yankee that tells everyone how good things were up there but rather the opposite its a liberal shathole. I introduced him to hunting here and he lives for it now. All that to say he told me one time with several other fine Southern Gentlemen at the hunt club right after he moved down here he was working a plant and he heard one redneck drop an F bomb at another guy and then both of them went to throwing fists. He asked another guy what made them start fighting and the guy said didnt you hear he told that fellow to F off? My buddy said well crap where I come from thats like a greeting " Hey F nuts get the F outta here... BTW hows your mama? :ROFLMAO:
 

302cj

Twelve Pointer
I would say, if you are 100% quiet and easy to get along with, and all of the sudden you raise your voice, it'll get noticed, and everyone will ask each other, "what was he upset about?" I would not do it in an office setting however.
You are 100% correct. We all get loud when joking around but for most part I’m rather quiet. When I get loud people usually stop to see what’s going on. Had to verbally jump on a guy few months back. Got a call to office next morning and boss man said thanks for doing that. He was tired of hearing his crap also.
 

pcbuckhunter

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I raise my voice daily. I’ve even yelled at a few really dense folks.

If you repeatedly screw up, you’re going to hear me raise my voice. Once is usually enough to get my point across. If not, you may get yelled at…. and likely :donk:donk:donk:donk canned. I despise having to yell at someone for stupid mistakes.
 

appmtnhntr

Twelve Pointer
I also live in a world where clear and effective communication saves both time and money, and makes for safer job sites.

I don’t like any “elevated” stuff when safety is involved.

I get working with dense people. That’s what they make tampers, and post hole diggers, and shovels for.
 

Mr.Gadget

Old Mossy Horns
"Raise your voice at me and you’ll be quickly ignored."

I keep seeing this and other comments just like it.

So I call BS. There is a time, place and use for raised voices or yelling.

When a point needs to be made or objective needs to be accomplished.

When I'm working and some locations, If you hear me yell you better respond or it could cost you your life.
 

Justin

Old Mossy Horns
"Raise your voice at me and you’ll be quickly ignored."

I keep seeing this and other comments just like it.

So I call BS. There is a time, place and use for raised voices or yelling.

When a point needs to be made or objective needs to be accomplished.

When I'm working and some locations, If you hear me yell you better respond or it could cost you your life.
Since I was one that said that. I see what youre saying and agree.... HOWEVER, I think of that as a different context than an interaction between two people in an office setting. I’ve raised my voice and yelled and even more efficiently, keep a whistle on a retractable landyard on my helmet for such occasions.
 
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