JONOV
Twelve Pointer
I was profiled this morning. I was fishing. I was on the pier owned by the HOA where my wife's parents live, in the Wilmington neighborhood she grew up in.
I don't think it was my age; the good Doctor across the street from my parents is married to a woman my age, and it gives a man hope seeing a 60+ year old with his 30-something wife and 3 year old, though being a surgeon certainly helps one's prospects in that arena as sure as a first round NFL draft picl.
Maybe it was the beard. Or maybe it was the fact that i was out there trying to whack a redfish with a 5 gallon bucket full of mud minnows in the HOA owned pier.
I guess I probably knew it was coming. When a morning walker made her way down the dock with her shitzus, I smiled and gave her a wave. She looked askance and turned around, probably not wanting to get near someone that so closely resembled the great unwashed she thought would be kept away in this neighborhood.
20 minutes later a gentleman rides down the pier on his bike. "Are you a resident?"
"No, my father-in-law is."
"Who is he?"
I gave his name. He furrowed his brow, and said, "Interesting." (What was so interesting? That someone married my wife? Why is that interesting? OR that she'd marry someone that would sit on the community pier with a bucket of minnows fishing? Does he think my wife is ugly?)
He then asks, "what's his daughter's name again?"
This is where I may have done a bad thing.
I asked, "Daughter?"
"You said he's your father in law."
"Who said anything about a daughter?" I asked
He started stumbling on his words. I faked a hookset.
"Samuel and I married two years ago" I offered, with a hint of offense and huff in my voice. He turned red, wished me luck, and left, in a hurry.
I'd apologize to my FIL, but he'll find it funnier than anyone, except maybe my brother in law. He thinks that if the HOA can't stick to painting the sign at the front, they'd best stick it up their . He's had a bad taste since he repainted his house, using the same color it was painted before, and they tried to fine him for not getting approval.
I may owe My Mother in law, a kind and generous person who doesn't have a sharp tongue, an apology. If it gets back to my (sharp tongued) Grandmother-in-law (and it might,) she may work her up into a tizzy about it. But really, I don't feel that bad; they were born with a last name as common as Davis or Smith or Miller, since they referred to me as having "such a common sounding last name," just like I didn't feel bad when I said, "why don't you just come out and say it, that it's vaguely ethnic and eastern European sounding and you're afraid your grandkids will look swarthy." I almost felt bad.
To quote Monty Python cast member John Cleese, "anything but mindless good taste." Happy Friday.
I don't think it was my age; the good Doctor across the street from my parents is married to a woman my age, and it gives a man hope seeing a 60+ year old with his 30-something wife and 3 year old, though being a surgeon certainly helps one's prospects in that arena as sure as a first round NFL draft picl.
Maybe it was the beard. Or maybe it was the fact that i was out there trying to whack a redfish with a 5 gallon bucket full of mud minnows in the HOA owned pier.
I guess I probably knew it was coming. When a morning walker made her way down the dock with her shitzus, I smiled and gave her a wave. She looked askance and turned around, probably not wanting to get near someone that so closely resembled the great unwashed she thought would be kept away in this neighborhood.
20 minutes later a gentleman rides down the pier on his bike. "Are you a resident?"
"No, my father-in-law is."
"Who is he?"
I gave his name. He furrowed his brow, and said, "Interesting." (What was so interesting? That someone married my wife? Why is that interesting? OR that she'd marry someone that would sit on the community pier with a bucket of minnows fishing? Does he think my wife is ugly?)
He then asks, "what's his daughter's name again?"
This is where I may have done a bad thing.
I asked, "Daughter?"
"You said he's your father in law."
"Who said anything about a daughter?" I asked
He started stumbling on his words. I faked a hookset.
"Samuel and I married two years ago" I offered, with a hint of offense and huff in my voice. He turned red, wished me luck, and left, in a hurry.
I'd apologize to my FIL, but he'll find it funnier than anyone, except maybe my brother in law. He thinks that if the HOA can't stick to painting the sign at the front, they'd best stick it up their . He's had a bad taste since he repainted his house, using the same color it was painted before, and they tried to fine him for not getting approval.
I may owe My Mother in law, a kind and generous person who doesn't have a sharp tongue, an apology. If it gets back to my (sharp tongued) Grandmother-in-law (and it might,) she may work her up into a tizzy about it. But really, I don't feel that bad; they were born with a last name as common as Davis or Smith or Miller, since they referred to me as having "such a common sounding last name," just like I didn't feel bad when I said, "why don't you just come out and say it, that it's vaguely ethnic and eastern European sounding and you're afraid your grandkids will look swarthy." I almost felt bad.
To quote Monty Python cast member John Cleese, "anything but mindless good taste." Happy Friday.