I was profiled this morning...and may have done a bad thing

JONOV

Twelve Pointer
I was profiled this morning. I was fishing. I was on the pier owned by the HOA where my wife's parents live, in the Wilmington neighborhood she grew up in.

I don't think it was my age; the good Doctor across the street from my parents is married to a woman my age, and it gives a man hope seeing a 60+ year old with his 30-something wife and 3 year old, though being a surgeon certainly helps one's prospects in that arena as sure as a first round NFL draft picl.

Maybe it was the beard. Or maybe it was the fact that i was out there trying to whack a redfish with a 5 gallon bucket full of mud minnows in the HOA owned pier.

I guess I probably knew it was coming. When a morning walker made her way down the dock with her shitzus, I smiled and gave her a wave. She looked askance and turned around, probably not wanting to get near someone that so closely resembled the great unwashed she thought would be kept away in this neighborhood.

20 minutes later a gentleman rides down the pier on his bike. "Are you a resident?"
"No, my father-in-law is."
"Who is he?"
I gave his name. He furrowed his brow, and said, "Interesting." (What was so interesting? That someone married my wife? Why is that interesting? OR that she'd marry someone that would sit on the community pier with a bucket of minnows fishing? Does he think my wife is ugly?)

He then asks, "what's his daughter's name again?"

This is where I may have done a bad thing.
I asked, "Daughter?"
"You said he's your father in law."
"Who said anything about a daughter?" I asked
He started stumbling on his words. I faked a hookset.
"Samuel and I married two years ago" I offered, with a hint of offense and huff in my voice. He turned red, wished me luck, and left, in a hurry.

I'd apologize to my FIL, but he'll find it funnier than anyone, except maybe my brother in law. He thinks that if the HOA can't stick to painting the sign at the front, they'd best stick it up their :donk. He's had a bad taste since he repainted his house, using the same color it was painted before, and they tried to fine him for not getting approval.

I may owe My Mother in law, a kind and generous person who doesn't have a sharp tongue, an apology. If it gets back to my (sharp tongued) Grandmother-in-law (and it might,) she may work her up into a tizzy about it. But really, I don't feel that bad; they were born with a last name as common as Davis or Smith or Miller, since they referred to me as having "such a common sounding last name," just like I didn't feel bad when I said, "why don't you just come out and say it, that it's vaguely ethnic and eastern European sounding and you're afraid your grandkids will look swarthy." I almost felt bad.

To quote Monty Python cast member John Cleese, "anything but mindless good taste." Happy Friday.
 

waitup

Four Pointer
That's great. I always think of smart stuff like that to say right after the guy walks away.
 

JoeR

Eight Pointer
I love it. I would definitely not have come up with something like that.
My best defense would probably have included me asking him if HE was a resident, and maybe vetting that before I answered any questions.
you did great.
Joe
 

Excursion

Ten Pointer
I love it. Did something similar in the grocery store a few years ago..... Standing inline behind 1 and a few behind me with flowers for the wife. Lady behind me says "nice flowers". I say "thanks". She says "your wife is a lucky woman". I pause and smiled on the inside and sternly say. "THEY ARE FOR MY HUSBAND.... HE DESERVES IT!!!" Oh the look on her face... I turn around as I am next in line. I wink at the cashier and smile. She got it and smiled back. Went home and told the wife. We had a good laugh. I wonder what that lady thought and said to her peeps???
 

Roanoke

Eight Pointer
Here is a fact. Go to any new beach community and pull in a parking spot or in front of someones house for a second and they will act extremely rude and tell you to move asap. Even if you are changing a boat trailer tire.

Go to any beach trailer park and try the same thing and owner or renter will tell you to park there as long as you want.
 

Roanoke

Eight Pointer
We are about to get an entire new wave of these jerks. People are moving out of the big Northern cities headed South. Moving business is up 250% in NYC.
 

Larry R

Old Mossy Horns
Wish I could come up with response like that but I'm like waitup, can ONLY come up with a good one after the perpetrator has departed.
 

Hunting Nut

Old Mossy Horns
(y) (y) (y) Fantastic ! Absolutely hilarious !
Make sure to take note of any future contacts fishing that pier. Keep us posted !!!
Classic !
 

Tipmoose

Administrator
Staff member
Contributor
I love it. Did something similar in the grocery store a few years ago..... Standing inline behind 1 and a few behind me with flowers for the wife. Lady behind me says "nice flowers". I say "thanks". She says "your wife is a lucky woman". I pause and smiled on the inside and sternly say. "THEY ARE FOR MY HUSBAND.... HE DESERVES IT!!!" Oh the look on her face... I turn around as I am next in line. I wink at the cashier and smile. She got it and smiled back. Went home and told the wife. We had a good laugh. I wonder what that lady thought and said to her peeps???

Sounds kinda like a dick move to me...the lady was being nice. And you, for whatever reason, had to make her feel bad for that.
 

bshobbs

Old Mossy Horns
Should have gotten his name for future references in case someone else shows up. Yea, i spoke to Roy and it’s ok if I fish here.
 

JONOV

Twelve Pointer
HOA anywhere is a joke. As un-American as anything and dummies pay to abide by asinine rules that they hate.

<>< Fish
and the scary thing is is that everyone living in one agreed to it before they bought the house.
Here is a fact. Go to any new beach community and pull in a parking spot or in front of someones house for a second and they will act extremely rude and tell you to move asap. Even if you are changing a boat trailer tire.

Go to any beach trailer park and try the same thing and owner or renter will tell you to park there as long as you want.
He’s a native, found out he goes to church with my Grandmother in law and has for decades...
 

pattersonj11

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
and the scary thing is is that everyone living in one agreed to it before they bought the house.

He’s a native, found out he goes to church with my Grandmother in law and has for decades...

That is not true regarding buying a house and knowing of the hoa. Some are created well after the houses are sold.
 

JoeH

Six Pointer
Here is a fact. Go to any new beach community and pull in a parking spot or in front of someones house for a second and they will act extremely rude and tell you to move asap. Even if you are changing a boat trailer tire.

Go to any beach trailer park and try the same thing and owner or renter will tell you to park there as long as you want.
Man, ain’t that the truth! Lakeside communities around Lake Norman are like that too. Can’t even park and put a canoe in without getting the police called on ya.
 
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