I’m not in a very good place

timekiller13

Twelve Pointer
Had a bad pediatric code the other day. I’ve been a part of hundreds of codes and dozens of pediatric codes. This is one messing with me. I don’t know why. It just hit home for some reason. I’m not really a religious person but I’ll take all the help I can right now.

My wife knows I’m struggling so I have her support. Nchuntandfish community has been very helpful over the years. Thank you all.

I’m hoping a day in the woods tomorrow will help clear my head.
 

45/70 hunter

Twelve Pointer
Hang in there, talk it out if you need to. At times like this you need a good listener, not someone trying to give all the answers. As you know, sometimes there just are none. Surround yourself with family and friends, but also take some alone time to help process everything. Prayers up for you. Thank you for the hard job you do.
 

guyo

Ten Pointer
Prayers sent, if you need help get it! I did and I'm not ashamed of it.
You have been in a war zone for over a year and have to have PTS at some level.
Guy
 

LR308

Six Pointer
Thank you for the work you do to help people heal every day. Don't let the weight of this one tip the scales for all the positive cases. Enjoy your solitude tomorrow, praying God sends you some beautiful distractions.
 

Rescue44

Twelve Pointer
I'm positive you know that sometimes no matter what you/team does, it doesn't matter. But, that doesn't make it any easier. You've done this long enough that you make a big difference. I assume there is a counselor you can discuss things with if need be. As I've said before...seeking help is a sign of strength!! Fortunately, I haven't been involved with a pediatric death on a wreck call!! I've been lucky that I couldn't respond to those calls! Prayers are inbound.
 

agsnchunt

Twelve Pointer
Hang in there. I just said a prayer for you and wife.

Remember, it isn't your job to save or heal, only to treat. You literally did all you could do.
 

pattersonj11

Old Mossy Horns
Had a bad pediatric code the other day. I’ve been a part of hundreds of codes and dozens of pediatric codes. This is one messing with me. I don’t know why. It just hit home for some reason. I’m not really a religious person but I’ll take all the help I can right now.

My wife knows I’m struggling so I have her support. Nchuntandfish community has been very helpful over the years. Thank you all.

I’m hoping a day in the woods tomorrow will help clear my head.

if you did what you could do, then that is all that can be asked. People are born and people die. You are in the profession to aid in both and especially in prolonging life. At the end of the day, you are not God. The next person will need you. Focus on the next and not on the last.
 

T-Rock

Ten Pointer
Contributor
When things don't go as planned simply ask yourself how would the patient have fared with no intervention whatsoever?

I do that a lot..

Peds/Neo codes are tough mentally, and a lot of times no matter how valiant the effort is, some things just aren't meant to be.
I lay it all at the foot of the Cross. That by far has been one of the things that's helped me.

Prayers inbound for you Sir, and enjoy this beautiful day. You make a huge difference in people's lives.
 

Zach's Grandpa

Old Mossy Horns
In this life there will be situations, circumstances, and happenings that we don't like, don't agree with, and don't understand. There will be times of anger, sadness, and frustration, but they shall also pass. While not easy to get through we have to stay the course and realize that it's just part of living out this thing called life.

God has not revealed everything to us while on this earth because we as humans don't have the ability to understand it. So when the hard times hit us we concentrate on what we are going to instead of what we are going through. St. Paul said, "if we pray about everything and worry about nothing, God will grant us peace that surpasses all understanding". That has gotten me through the worst of times.

God bless
 

Gasman

Twelve Pointer
Prayers sent for you and the family. Situations like this are difficult to comprehend. Hopefully time in the woods will be therapeutic for you.
 

Moose

Administrator
Staff member
Contributor
I'm saying a prayer for you and hope you find a way to clear your mind. As others have said find someone who helps folks with PTSD.... it may seem that it was this one situation but the reality is that the repeated onslaught of all you have dealt with has just caught up with you. Even if you get yourself in a good place realize that it's likely to creep back up on you at a later time and out of the blue. Talking with someone who specializes in this could help you through this and give you tools for in the future on how to deal with it. It's not uncommon for folks that deal with traumatic events to have this happen its not a sign of weakness seek some help.
 

surveyor

Twelve Pointer
I totally understand your situation from a BTDT point of view.

My old mentor told me, "You've been involved in a lot of really shitty scenarios in your career. You've made the majority of them better. Don't dwell on the others. "

Keep your perspective.
 

turkeyfoot

Old Mossy Horns
To me your doing right thing getting away with no distractions in woods always has settled me just gotta leave it behind easier said than done but take care of yourself or this work will eat you up especially this past yeat. be pray ing for you
 

shotgunner

Ten Pointer
Prayers for you and all involved. I teach high school here in NC (public). Time will not allow me to share a lot of what we see with our students. Sometimes I just want to go home, crawl in a closet, turn the lights off and STAY! So many kids in the world are not cared for or loved. Yeah there is a lot of "entitlement" out there but those parents are more worried about their ego's and status than there kids. And the kids know it. It is much easier said than done, but try to focus on the successes and realize all the good you are doing in the lives you touch. Change one life and you have changed the world.
 

red neck richie

Twelve Pointer
My motto is do the best you can do everyday! I believe you have done that. Some things are out of our control and hard to deal with but I do believe in what is meant to be will be how ever difficult for us to understand. I know you will find solace in the woods as I do. May peace overcome you!
 
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