Funniest hunting stories ?

[Ol Copper]

The etiquette/gate thread got me to thinking...
Ive never really had a bad story, I tend to avoid people, but I sure have seen some funny stuff when it comes to etiquette.

The best one I remember happened a few years ago up in the mountains. Turkeyfoot and I had found some birds waaaay back off the road, behind a gate on public. There were 1,000's of acres behind one gate and these birds were at THE very back of this place. It was about a 1.5 hour walk.

It was opening day and we beat everybody to the gate way early and started walking hours before daylight. Right when we got to within 1/8 mile of where we were going to hunt we heard something. Something strange...
It was a dude coming past us on a bicycle at Mach2 in the total darkness. As he blew past Brian hollers out and says "hey where you headed"
He says "to the end", with this chit eating attitude. Pizzed me off badly, I was hot, we beat him by hours and he just jumped us at the last minute, he knew exactly what he did and he did it on purpose. There was literally hundreds of other spots behind that gate to hunt. We tried to be nice....

I started mulling over what to do next, Turkeyfoot just keeps walking and says "Im still going down there"
I told him to have at it and said I was going back up to a spot where we had heard one. Daylight was 10 minutes away...

I hadn't gone far and was listening for a gobble when I heard a shot at exactly legal time.

I start heading back that way and 5 minutes later run into Brian heading back my way with a dead gobbler, grinning like a Cheshire cat

He had that bird pegged, he let 'ol son set up in the wrong spot on that bird and walked in above him and the bird flew down exactly where we knew he would and Turkeyfoot killed him after he was on the ground maybe 45 seconds I bet that shot lifted that boys arse off the ground 3 feet

I know he heard us laughing at him, he never showed his face and he never rode that bike back out past us on his way to his truck.

Bet he thinks twice next time !!

I'll let @turkeyfoot tell the story of the guy that begged us not to shoot him on public one morning, he tells it better.

Lets hear some funny ones y'all have....

 

[.35Rem]

Like Ol Copper, the etiquette post made me think of this.

Was hunting Camp Lejeune years ago. Had scouted a bird roosting on a creek with an easy walk-in from the road. Got to my parking spot real early and sat thier drinking coffee and a “few” donuts. Out of no where there was a tap on the window. 2 young Marines asked where I was gonna hunt, I told them, and they said they had scouted a bird there, were deploying Monday and it was their only chance to hunt, could I hunt the other side of the creek. I agreed and we went our separate ways.


I walked in, picked a random spot, set up and started listening. The 2 guys were calling like mad men on the other side of the creek. 3 birds lit off: the one they were hunting roosted Btwn us on the creek and two in the opposite direction, real close on my side. Heard those two fly down and adjusted to focus on them. Called once and 10 min into shooting light, I was walking back to the truck with a bird.

Finished my still warm coffee and the 2 young guys showed up all pissed off saying I “poached their bird”. I explained their bird was still out there, this one came from the other side of block we were in. Perfect timing, their bird let out a gobble at that moment prob from where they had been set up. I laughed and packed up as they stood there arguing what to do next. I wished them luck on their deployment and left.

Couldn’t ask for a better lesson in patience.

 

[Woods and water]

I took two hillbillies turkey hunting once

 

[woodmoose]

I'd tell the tale,,,, but (some of) ya'll wouldn't believe me,,,,,

 

[Ol Copper]

I took two hillbillies turkey hunting once

yep, and one of them morons left a perfectly good shotgun laying beside a tree where a gobbler died and just rode off

 

[ellwoodjake]

Years ago, about 3 of us decided to conduct a mini-drive on an old clearcut. The driver opted not to take a gun, just a stick, since he was going through some nasty stuff. I was in a box blind, and about the time he popped over the hill on my side, a small buck was coming my way. I shot 3 times at him and then held up, as this was my last round. Finally he stopped at about 60 yds broadside, and I put it right in the ribs. He fell right over and kicked about twice and that was it. It took the driver another 10 mintes to make his way to me, and I passed the time admiring my "kill" and punching my final buck tag. When he got there, I climbed down, and he wanted to know how many trucks would be required to haul off my herd. We went to get my deer, and surprisingly, I was having trouble finding it. Finally, he said, 'is that your deer?" He was standing about 20 yds away, just looking at us. I just stood there with my eyes bugged out, and my mouth wide open, looking like Lori Lightfoot. My buddy kept saying, "shoot, shoot!" but I was empty. My spare rounds in the backpack, at the base of the blind. He finally started "firing" at it with his stick, as this young buck trotted off. We found 1 blood drop where he stood, and a few drops where he laid, but that was it. Back at camp, the other two packed up and left, and took my shirt tail with them.

 

[georgeeebuck]

I was muzzleloader hunting from the only tree standing in a newer clearcut . A nice 8 point walked out from the edge at about 100 yards . I jerked off a quick off hand shot as he turned to leave. When the smoked cleared I could not see him so I start reloading . I had just poured the powder down the barrel when I looked up to see him slow walking from behind a brush pile. As I watched he dropped his head and I am thinking he is going down. He dropped his head on down , snatched up a leaf and began chewing ! I not only had missed him I did not even get close enough to spook him! As I tried to get the bullet down the barrel he walked off never to be seen again.

 

[UncleFester]

I was muzzleloader hunting from the only tree standing in a newer clearcut . A nice 8 point walked out from the edge at about 100 yards . I jerked off a quick off hand shot as he turned to leave. When the smoked cleared I could not see him so I start reloading . I had just poured the powder down the barrel when I looked up to see him slow walking from behind a brush pile. As I watched he dropped his head and I am thinking he is going down. He dropped his head on down , snatched up a leaf and began chewing ! I not only had missed him I did not even get close enough to spook him! As I tried to get the bullet down the barrel he walked off never to be seen again.

I had to read this one a few times at the first of the story..... ummmmm yep.

 

[UncleFester]

Missed that this was a Turkey subject... my bad.

Only funny turkey hunting thing I have is that I kept feeling my face after shooting a turkey with that 3.5 inch magnum to make sure it wasn't still bleeding.

 

[dobber]

Alledegly many years ago, we had a new guy in deer camp, friend/family of one of the guys, anyway, alledegly we talked him and one other guy to go "shine" the airstrip, this was the night before the season started.
We had allegedly thought about this for a bit, had a couple of them flashing lights, plug into the lighter and stick to the roof of the car.
So out and about they were, shining the fields and into the bush, we drove close enough with the lights out and watched. On the count of 3, we lit up the high beams, flashing lights and drove like it was Nascar (the one where you turn right)
Poor new guy jumped out his car window and took off into the bush, pitch black
It took about 5 minutes before he realized it was a joke, regardless of how we were laughing, otherwise he was waiting it out till morning

 

[turkeyfoot]

yep, and one of them morons left a perfectly good shotgun laying beside a tree where a gobbler died and just rode off

Well its pretty well known mtn folk ain't the brightest in world

 

[turkeyfoot]

I took two hillbillies turkey hunting once

Now that was funny . And neither got used as gator/bear bait lived to tale the tale

 

[turkeyfoot]

Lots good memories one morning me and @Ol Copper pulled into and area bout 0300 getting gear together in dark and a shadow rises from back of a truck that had parked there night before this proper speaking fella says " you guys hunting here today" I politely explained there was thousands acres here plenty room he promptly proceeds to ask to please not shoot him reminding me to be safe I assured him I'd never shot anyone and we'd all be fine then basically by time started waking in tells me same thing twice more. I tell you if I was that scared I think I'd just stayed in my bed. Well killed bird off roost and come walking out very long rd and in straight stretch up ahead I see a flock of turkeys scattered in rd could males and hens sure enough it was that fella man that was over hour walk in why in hades would a person carry them dekes that far to hunt a narrow laurel choked rd. If I remember right this was morning ol copper had some hippies come in on him and have a picnic.

 

[turkeyfoot]

One that always tickled me was a time I walked in knew general area birds roosted in so wanted set up close well when got hear went twist that end on maglight to turn it off for last bit walk in and off popped end batteries fell out so I spend next 10 min fumbling in leaves trying find them making a racket cause its dry an bone ( in hindsight shoulda just left them) well I go up on point and settle in take nap daybreak starts I look to my left and there is 2 longbeards right at eye level no more than 50-60 yards away I froze for next while unable move which is getting painful was never do happy see birds pitch out of a tree they gobbled several times on own of course I couldn't make a call pitched downhill I quickly slipped a call in mouth gave short series yelps few clicks and they both popped up only 1 got fly awat. Talk about nerve racking sitting there at eye level all that time no mask no gloves gun laying in leaves have no idea how they didn't bust me

 

[Ol Copper]

^^ Dang, I forgot about the hippie picnic basket...I still wonder what 3 dudes was gonna do with that one hot chic


All I remember is that man poking his head out of the bed of that truck and just begging us to not shoot him.
I just thought he meant that he'd be close by... not be hunting IN the road with a whole spread of decoys out !!

I'll never forget when you saw him in the road and started hollering out "coming thru, coming thru"

 

[turkeyfoot]

^^ Dang, I forgot about the hippie picnic basket


All I remember is that man poking his head out of the bed of that truck and just begging us to not shoot him.
I just thought he meant that he'd be close by... not be hunting IN the road with a whole spread of decoys out !!

I'll never forget when you saw him in the road and started hollering out "coming thru, coming thru"

Yeah I'd forgot bout that from way he was acting he more scared me than he shoulda been of me good times

 

[georgeeebuck]

I had to read this one a few times at the first of the story..... ummmmm yep.

I may need to chose my words a little better so as not to be misunderstood by some on here.

 

[TobyScreams]

Struck a bird a few miles back and realized quickly that I had forgotten my hat. Normally I have a boonie that stays behind me until it’s go time. Well I found I had two face masks so I wrapped one around my head and put the other on and got it done. Had a hen putting above me but that bird didn’t care he strolled right to about 25 yards.

 

[Duckmauler dhc]

One morning up in the hills of stokes county me and my cousin were walking a creek bottom trying to get on some birds we had roosted the evening before…….we got a late start and they were hammering and it sounded in the distance like one had already flown down……we rounded a curve and there on the side of the trail was what appeared to be a bright red head stuck up looking right at us……my cousin(who isn’t known for being very bright) threw his gun up and fired off a round……then all at once a 4 legged creature takes off and I say “why is that turkey running with 4 legs?” Turns out it was a skunk standing there with its tail stuck straight up in a bush that had 1 bright red rose on it…..after the shot went off turkeys go flying every which away over our head and my cousin is chasing this skunk who just got its tail shot off and it’s butt filled with lead #5s and he gets to it and the danged thing stopped and sprayed him just before he finished it off. We hunted far apart the rest of the day. To this day that skunks tail and that rose bush is the greatest optical illusion I have ever seen.

 

[RBC]

Hey @TrkyJedi do you remember the time we were up on the edge of the Roanoke River? I walked across a little damp area and barely got my boots dirty and you were behind me and sunk up to your knees! I couldn’t help you because I was laughing so hard but I’m glad you made it out!

 

[TrkyJedi]

I remember waking somebody's brother in law up at 3:30 in the morning to ask permission, but i have no recollection of what you're talking about.

 

[RBC]

I remember waking somebody's brother in law up at 3:30 in the morning to ask permission, but i have no recollection of what you're talking about.

That’s ok. I’ll remember it for both of us.

 

[RBC]

And yes, I remember waking him up too. He was more pleasant than I would have been!

 

[QBD2]

Hmmm…walked past a friends camera, told him there was a strutter down the way, then walked out past it with him over my shoulder

He was laughing and cussing me at the same time

The big dummy still shares intel…but at least it’s mutual. Ain’t got no secrets with that feller

 

[Moose]

I shared many of good laughs with my buddy Rick Poole while turkey hunting and I could tell a number of stories. One of our last hunts together was hilarious but he was kind of pissed at me. ....

We had been trying to kill this Gobbler on our Alamance lease and the dang thing was making monkeys out of us. We both had made several attempts at this bird so finally we decided to team up on him one Saturday. We had a long narrow field that ran along the edge of a creek and the creek was also the property line. No matter where we set up on that field that bugger would come out on the other end and strut well outside of our range. We decided to sit on either end of the field.
That bird wasn't falling for that but he gobbled all morning and moved up and down that creek bottom frustrating the crap out of us. Rick slipped down to me and said he'd had enough and he was going to Caswell County property to kill Ole Huey ( there was multiple birds and multiple stories about this bird) I told him I wasn't letting this joker get the best of me and I planned to kill him today! Rick laughed and left. Well about 430 that afternoon I saw that Gobbler eyeing my decoys in the middle of the field. He was standing in the briars and all I could see was his head. Even though it was a poke I let some Longbeard xr #6's loose and I got him @ 52 paces. This is the largest Gobbler I've ever killed it was a nice one.
About the time I'm punching my tag out the phone is ringing and it's old Rick..... " Mack I got him!! Ole Huey is dead" I said great I got this one down on the creek bottom too . Rick asks me how big and I said I dunno it's a turkey. So Rick assums his is much bigger than mine. He is going on an on about how old Huey was tough to kill and he was such a smart old bird.

Well Rick wants us to meet up for photos so I agree. I pull up Rick holds his bird up grinning ear to ear. He then proceeds to tell me all about Huey again. He lays it on the ground and I congratulate him on the bird. I haven't said much about my bird and pretty much downplay it every time he brings it up. I then pull mine out of the back of the truck and lay it next to his and Rick goes silent for a minute. He then begins cussing me cause his looks rather small compared to his. He then doesn't want any photos taken with the birds. I tell him I'm taking mine to the taxidermist cause I don't know if I'd every kill a bigger bird. He writes out something on a slip a paper giving me his bird and he gets in his truck and drives away.

Me I stand there laughing this is the only photo I got of our two birds but there is no doubt which one was really a Huey.

 

[Shine]

Funny now but not then (or a day later). The night before weather was looking bad so told my buddy maybe we will wait it out and go later. He said nah lets just hang in the truck and bs till we get a break in the weather. I agreed and off we went in the morning. Storms were bad and our phones going off like crazy to take shelter because of a tornado. Started to hear the train coming and we both got quiet. I was like you hear that right? said yea but its probably just your bed cover (it was only couple weeks old on the truck but I kept saying no its not). I continued to question the noise as it got louder and said we should head to my friends dad's house. Did we? no. My friend who owned the property and others started texting me seeing if we were all good and said yea its cleared up mostly. My friend went home the way he normally does and trees were down all over and people in construction vest on trying to clean it up. Next day we hunt the same area and he said the trees were still down all over and made fun of the guys on how they must not know how to drop the trees. Day goes on and not till later that day my friend called me who owned the property asked if we saw the tornado come across down the road..... looked at the maps of the track and then found out how close it was to being on top of us. If it was day time we would have been able to see it. It was also my birthday that day and close to the last one haha.

 

[wolfman]

walking and calling along a creek bottom mid morning. the urge hits and i need to take a dump. set my gear against a tree and walk to a favorable spot. while in the process, a hen starts yelping on the ridge above me. i've got a mouth call in and yelp back. she gets fired up and a gobbler fires off with her. she immediately flies to a tree right above me. i'm sitting there with no weapon and my white ass exposed to the world. i have lots of personal work left to take care of too. i'm still. she finally flies away and he walks away gobbling. never got him to work after that.

 

[hawglips]

Back when I still had teenage boys at home, we drove all night for the FL opener, arriving in time to get a couple hours sleep before heading out. I sent my two boys to pre-determined spot A, with instructions not to get into any altercations with anyone. This was their first time off by themselves without me down there. And it can be a zoo. We were to meet back up at high noon. Meanwhile, I rode off to hunt spot C after dropping my brother off at spot B.

After an actionless morning, I rode to the pickup spot for my boys. They were looking a bit strange when I asked for a hunt report. They proceeded to tell me how they got set up on a roosted hard gobbling tom right on the WMA line. The bird was roosted on the private land side and so they set up about 60 yds from the line and worked him from there. Over the course of about an hour, they finally had him coming in. There was a ditch that formed the property line. As the bird got to about 15 yds from the property line and they were getting real excited, a head rose up out of the ditch right in front of them and shot the bird. They about had a heart attack at the shot, and after recovering from the shock, one of them suggested to the other that the guy needed a butt whupping (they were top notch high school wrestlers); whereas the other reminded him of what I'd said about avoiding altercations.... So, they went up to the guy and congratulated him on the bird. That was the guy's first turkey. He'd heard the bird gobbling and crawled down the ditch about 150 yds, claiming he didn't know they were there. But it didn't bother him at all that they were, apparently.

 

[garnerd01]

My dad and I were hunting a field and split up about 300 yards apart, sitting there that morning had birds gobbling like crazy way behind me in the woods. After about an hour of listening to them and trying to get them to come in, nature called so i got up and walked back behind me about 20 yards and while i was taking care of business, 5 gobblers came by me about 30 yards away and went right out to my decoys and guess what. My gun was still there where i was sitting and not with me. So i texted my dad to call the birds and they took off right to him and he shot one. I got back to my spot and after he shot one and started calling and the other four came right back to my setup and i killed one. Lessoned learned to never leave the gun behind. LOL but it worked out anyway.

 

[grim reaper]

Buddy came to hunt with me one morning, sent him up the swamp after a bird that was regularly gobbling in the morning. I had 2 gobbling right across the swamp from me, slipped in silent to a spot I knew they liked to cross. After fly down I made a few of the prettiest clucks and purrs you ever heard and set the call down. Cpl minutes later look up and a bird landed in front of me. Hen #1. Walked past at 20. Looked up, another hen. Same thing...knew the brothers were next. then they start hammering off still on the other side. I hear something else in the distance. Cutting? Cackling? Gotta be my buddy 300 yards up the swamp. Birds start moving up the swamp on opposite side of me hammering. Few minutes later a gunshot up where my bud was. Can't be!? That sorry s.o.b!! Not even a minute later I see 2 longbeards flying across the swamp to where they came from. Knew right then that he messed up big time! Says his bird went silent and he heard these gobbling...still laugh about that to this day. To make matters worse i sent him to my next best spot after that and he called 4 gobblers across a small river and they spooked before he could get a shot. Prob The best and worst day all in one for him. He had been wanting to get one in this area for awhile as every time he's hunted here he's been eluded one way or another. Still to this day