Funny Coworker Comments

wturkey01

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I used to work with a guy named "Gary"........he was from so far back in the mountains that Monday didn't get there until Tuesday!! Anyhow, he could come up with some comments that just defied logic!:eek:

One day we were talking about lawnmowers and he told me to buy a Roof Mower. Now, I'd never heard of them so I asked him to tell me more. After expounding on all the great things about a Roof, he said "they'll last you a lifetime"!?

I asked how he knew so much about them and he replied, "I ought to know about them.......I've owned 2 of 'em"! :unsure:
 

oldest school

Old Mossy Horns
One of our finest employees decades ago told me that 'Don't make no difference what they say, Man aint never been to the moon."

I have a zillion of these as I have worked with some fine folks that could come up with interesting stuff.
 

wturkey01

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
When I was assigned to administer a timber contract in a sensitive mountain area the logger went to the site one Monday morning and found a hippie protestor up in a pine tree.

He said his name was Forest Green and he was protesting against cutting trees.

He had nailed a platform between 2 trees and was sitting there about 25 ft up.

Somebody said “you’re hurting the trees with those nails.”

Forest replied “doesn’t it hurt the tree if you cut it”?
 
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Natebonebusta

Eight Pointer
Not one of my coworkers but a family member.

One of my great uncle's was a locksmith at NCSU and was working on a door issue on a hallway full of classes. He was making quite a bit of ruckus.

One of the professors came out and said, "I'm trying to have class here!" To which Charles replied, "That's fine, you aren't bothering me...." Never skipped a beat, and went right back to his work. To which the professor stomped off back to class.

I always enjoyed that story of his.
 

double

Twelve Pointer
We had a guy we moved out of sales last year. He always said he would still be there if it wasn’t for that one thing he did. So I finally ask what he did that was so bad to get put out of sales. His response was priceless he said “I didn’t sell enough cars”. For almost a year he made it sound like he had broken a rule or something.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

lewis9378449

Four Pointer
I used to work with a guy named "Gary"........he was from so far back in the mountains that Monday didn't get there until Tuesday!! Anyhow, he could come up with some comments that just defied logic!:eek:

One day we were talking about lawnmowers and he told me to buy a Roof Mower. Now, I'd never heard of them so I asked him to tell me more. After expounding on all the great things about a Roof, he said "they'll last you a lifetime"!?

I asked how he knew so much about them and he replied, "I ought to know about them.......I've owned 2 of 'em"! :unsure:
A friend of mine used to say he lives so far back in the woods he doesn’t get Monday night football until Wednesday afternoon
 

NCST8GUY

Frozen H20 Guy
A buddy I work with, and I'm sure I'll add more, was questioned by a customer about why I don't wear a wedding ring? We were traveling and apparently some places in our country it seems if you don't wear a ring, you are single (he doesn't wear one either, trade related). She asked him, "are you married too?". He replied, "I've been married so long I had a vasectomy 12 years ago, now just puffs of blue smoke comes out". I thought she/I were going to die, for different reasons.
 

BarSinister

Old Mossy Horns
I worked with a few who could butcher the english language.

One while eating fried calamari for the 1st time said, "this is good'. "I really like the testicles!" I looked him right in the eye and said I bet you do!

Another when talking about someone in his family with Alzheimer's would call it Oldtimers.
 

g3trappernc

Twelve Pointer
Happened many times. We had a coworker we called T-Rex. Every time we went out for lunch, dinner or drinks, he never grabbed the tab. Even though it was on an expense account . Took him two years to figure out why we called him T-Rex.
 

Triggermortis

Twelve Pointer
Contributor
Funny things Ive heard one of my employees say:

One day we were trying to finish up some siding and it was very cold and misting rain he said "If I don't get sick it won't be because I didn't try"

One day we were working and it was pretty hot he said "I've been hot twice in my life and this is both times"

He had stuff like that going on all of the time......
 

ellwoodjake

Twelve Pointer
An older co-worker, who is now retired, told this one on himself:

(wife) "It's 10 o'clock, what are you doing home. You should be at work?"
(him) "After the way they talked to me this morning, I told them I was going to the house and I wouldn't be back"
(her) " Oh no, what did they say"?
(him) " They said to go home, and not to come back"
 

oldest school

Old Mossy Horns
third shift employee called in allowing as to how he couldn't come to work, said his water was froze.
It was July, he was way past drunk.
 

Part-time hunter

Ten Pointer
I was walking into our typing pool one time headed for our mailboxes and the two ladies were talking about a dictation one of them was trying to figure out what was being said on the tape. Pat said to Sally, "No, I think he's saying as a whole."
 
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