Dealing w death of father

southerngunbelle

Six Pointer
My dad died in May unexpectedly, and for whatever reason this month in particular has been extremely hard for me.
I never thought at 25 he’d be gone.
He was my hero, I was definitely Daddy’s little girl.
I feel like he had so much more left to teach me.
On a faith level, it’s been so difficult.
I question God all the time about “why” He took him, on a family vacation no less.
Just really struggling and could really use some prayers!
 

Zach's Grandpa

Old Mossy Horns
Realize that it is okay to grieve and it's okay to question. Both are necessary during the process of trying to live out your life without your Dad. In Phil. 4:6-7 Paul writes that if we worry about nothing and pray over everything God will grant us peace that surpasses all understanding. The Bible also tells us in several places that there are "secret" things that belong only to God.

Having experienced the loss of many friends, parents, and a son I can assure you that you will never "get over" the loss of your Dad. With prayer, faith, and time God will grant you the peace to "get beyond it". That is what your Dad would want for you, to get passed his untimely death, to live our your life with joy in your heart knowing that when your time here is done there will be a reuniting with him.

God bless.
ZG
 

Longrifle

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
Sure sorry for your loss. I've come to the understanding that there's no moving on past grief, you gotta learn to move on with it. When I started looking at it that way, accepting the fact that it was always going to be there, the tears started to come a little less frequently and the smiles a lot more often.....
Prayers for peace.....
 

agsnchunt

Old Mossy Horns
Realize that it is okay to grieve and it's okay to question. Both are necessary during the process of trying to live out your life without your Dad. In Phil. 4:6-7 Paul writes that if we worry about nothing and pray over everything God will grant us peace that surpasses all understanding. The Bible also tells us in several places that there are "secret" things that belong only to God.

Having experienced the loss of many friends, parents, and a son I can assure you that you will never "get over" the loss of your Dad. With prayer, faith, and time God will grant you the peace to "get beyond it". That is what your Dad would want for you, to get passed his untimely death, to live our your life with joy in your heart knowing that when your time here is done there will be a reuniting with him.

God bless.
ZG

Amen. And I would go a step further and say it's important to grieve.

Go read Tim Challies' blog. It isn't the same, but his son died unexpectedly last year. He's written some good things about what and how he's been dealing with that.
 

southerngunbelle

Six Pointer
Realize that it is okay to grieve and it's okay to question. Both are necessary during the process of trying to live out your life without your Dad. In Phil. 4:6-7 Paul writes that if we worry about nothing and pray over everything God will grant us peace that surpasses all understanding. The Bible also tells us in several places that there are "secret" things that belong only to God.

Having experienced the loss of many friends, parents, and a son I can assure you that you will never "get over" the loss of your Dad. With prayer, faith, and time God will grant you the peace to "get beyond it". That is what your Dad would want for you, to get passed his untimely death, to live our your life with joy in your heart knowing that when your time here is done there will be a reuniting with him.

God bless.
ZG
Thank you so much sir
 

southerngunbelle

Six Pointer
Sure sorry for your loss. I've come to the understanding that there's no moving on past grief, you gotta learn to move on with it. When I started looking at it that way, accepting the fact that it was always going to be there, the tears started to come a little less frequently and the smiles a lot more often.....
Prayers for peace.....
Thank you
 

southerngunbelle

Six Pointer
Amen. And I would go a step further and say it's important to grieve.

Go read Tim Challies' blog. It isn't the same, but his son died unexpectedly last year. He's written some good things about what and how he's been dealing with that.
I will certainly look the blog up, thank you!
 

YanceyGreenhorn

Still Not a Moderator
A suggestion someone gave me was to be determined to get THROUGH these things, not get OVER them. I thought it was just semantics…but what they meant is usually when we are getting through things, we are doing it honorably and honoring that deceased person by living right. When guys like me get “over” stuff, it usually means I’m using all sorts of bs to distract myself from the pain and grief. Not doing anything to really heal. You may not know my back story, but I can tell you grief was a huge part of why life was so ugly for so long. Prayers to you
 

nchawkeye

Old Mossy Horns
My Dad passed in 1975, I was 20...It was tough and I slowly worked through it...I realized he was still with me, several times I could feel his spirit and I had several dreams about him, still do...He would not want you to wallow in grief, sure you need to grieve, but you also have part of him in you and he would want you to move on and enjoy your life...Find your passion and immerse yourself in it, give thanks for having a good Dad as some don't have good memories of theirs...Share what he taught you with others, including your children and later your grandchildren...Pray, God is always with us and never gives us challenges that we can't handle...Best of luck, we will be praying for you...
 

southerngunbelle

Six Pointer
A suggestion someone gave me was to be determined to get THROUGH these things, not get OVER them. I thought it was just semantics…but what they meant is usually when we are getting through things, we are doing it honorably and honoring that deceased person by living right. When guys like me get “over” stuff, it usually means I’m using all sorts of bs to distract myself from the pain and grief. Not doing anything to really heal. You may not know my back story, but I can tell you grief was a huge part of why life was so ugly for so long. Prayers to you
Thank you, I most definitely do want to heal and honor him.
What you are saying makes total sense.
I’m sorry for the pain of your past, the fact you’re able to help someone else (like me) is something to be proud of.
Daddy wanted to be placed in different parts of Idaho and told me this since I was 10 years old, I’m planning to honor what he wanted this coming spring and currently planning that trip and the logistics of backpacking such rural country.
Thank you for the prayers and sharing the wisdom!
 

YanceyGreenhorn

Still Not a Moderator
Thank you, I most definitely do want to heal and honor him.
What you are saying makes total sense.
I’m sorry for the pain of your past, the fact you’re able to help someone else (like me) is something to be proud of.
Daddy wanted to be placed in different parts of Idaho and told me this since I was 10 years old, I’m planning to honor what he wanted this coming spring and currently planning that trip and the logistics of backpacking such rural country.
Thank you for the prayers and sharing the wisdom!
Don’t go mistaking me for very wise….just a lot of experience with kicking my own butt 😂 That’s awesome about following thru with his wishes. There are prob some members on here that may be able to help with suggestions about Idaho. 41Magnum comes to mind , but he unexpectedly passed away last year. Oddly enough, while on a trip to Idaho. You don’t always have to be strong , just keep the faith
 

southerngunbelle

Six Pointer
My Dad passed in 1975, I was 20...It was tough and I slowly worked through it...I realized he was still with me, several times I could feel his spirit and I had several dreams about him, still do...He would not want you to wallow in grief, sure you need to grieve, but you also have part of him in you and he would want you to move on and enjoy your life...Find your passion and immerse yourself in it, give thanks for having a good Dad as some don't have good memories of theirs...Share what he taught you with others, including your children and later your grandchildren...Pray, God is always with us and never gives us challenges that we can't handle...Best of luck, we will be praying for you...
He certainly was a good dad - I was so blessed to have him. Thank you for the kind words and wisdom, he did teach me a lot that I intend to pass along to others eventually.
I’ve had two dreams about him, which is a lot for me as someone who doesn’t dream a lot in general. My condolences for your own dad.
 

dc bigdaddy

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I don't have know words of wisdom,
but I will tell you that it sucks to have lost your father. I think about mine every day. 10 years later, I still see him sitting in the truck, cb mic in one hand, cigarette in the other.

As I read on this forum years ago, one of the old timers giving a kid that had lost his father at an early age. Remember the good times!!!!!!!!
 

JoeSam1975

Twelve Pointer
Contributor
My dad died unexpectedly in an accident when I was 24, Just remember as stated in other posts, it is ok to grieve. I was told by a friend of mine grief is the love we want to give but can't. Fast forward 22 years later and I still miss him and all those emotions came back this past August when my mom died in an accident on the way to church. Cherish the memories and remember it's ok to cry and grieve. But know this, God has a plan, we may not understand it at the moment, but he makes no mistakes. If anything for me, it has made me cherish the time I have with my wife, children and grandson that much more, and take nothing for granted.
 

Jake NFC

Twelve Pointer
So sorry for your loss. The advise given above comes from some very wise gentlemen.

I would add two things: Continue to live a life that would be pleasing to your father. And take the things that he taught you and pass that on to others. Look for joy in knowing that you are making the world a better place just the way he did in raising you.
 

TobyScreams

Twelve Pointer
Prayers for you and your family.

Asking why may not get you anywhere but talking to God is never a bad thing. Pray all you can but specifically make time to listen for answers. We often talk to God when we are in need, minds racing, trying to make sense of everything going on. That prayer is heard no less, but us humans don’t have the infinite wisdom needed to always hear answers under the same set of circumstances. Translation: God hears our cries but our crying can prevent us from hearing God.
 
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